So....we took an impromptu road trip up to Kansas City over Labor Day weekend.
Before we get started, I would like to add a disclaimer/info/theory on road trips. My theory is(used to be) pee before you leave, get in the car, drive, no stopping until you need fuel. Fuel = bathroom break. Pee/poop then or wait for the next tank to run out. Stopping delays your ETA, ETA is the goal, the goal is to get from point A to Point B in the quickest time(safety taken into consideration, of course).
So here we go: Destination KC. We all met in Denton near my new job site, I left my car at a hotel(this story to follow), C had the kids all strapped in, gear was loaded, car was fueled....boom let's do this. Dallas to KC is roughly a 7 1/2 hour drive. Since the kiddos eat every 4 hours, we tried to time it where we would only have to do one auto feeding. The first few of hours were great. C would sit and the back and do a little entertaining from time to time, but they seemed to be fine. Around hour four the fuel level is lowering, we are approaching feeding, and they're getting a little squirmy. Fine, I'll stop. But let's make this quick. I'll fuel, C makes the bottles, we'll feed, change diapers, and get on it. WRONG. WRONG.WRONG.
I fuel up the car, go inside to get a snack, come out ready to get on it. C has Tyler out of the car seat ready to change him(he's facing her), I look at him and see one thing...Shit. A lot of it, populating a very large portion of his thigh. It looks like there is more poo out of the diaper than in the diaper. I tell C to freeze, because it is within one Tyler bounce of going from his thigh, to the back of his calf, to her jeans. So I get the changing pad out, put on my imaginary Haz-Mat uniform. And go to town. I was wrong, there was way more poo in the diaper than outside of the diaper, this thing was loaded. Not to mention he has become the wiggle monster when changing him, add that to changing him in the front seat of a car, add that to the seat slants backwards...there was poo everywhere. On me, on him, on the seat, on the cup holder...everywhere.
Next up Addison. I could literally copy the entire paragraph from above, switch Adddison for Tyler, She for he, her for him...you get the idea. Let's all say it together. There was poo everywhere. Just two massive diaper bombs at a really bad time.
So..fuel stop is done. Lets get on it.
Hours 4, 5 and 6 drag along...at this point we are basically giving the kids any thing they are allowed to put in there mouths to get some quiet time.
Here they are seen eating MumMums. They are advertised(by me) as banana flavored cardboard textured crackers that dissolve in your mouth with the help of some chewing. Yes, I'm still adhering to my rule, taste anything you feed your kids. I can tell you these things taste exactly as advertised. Banana flavored dissolving cardboard.
To make a long road trip story even a longer road trip story...we finally made it. A shade later than our ETA, a shade past babies eating time...but we only stopped once.
Next blog will be soon(hopefully tomorrow). It will be about the time in KC, the trip home and I can guarantee you it will have the following words in it: diarrhea and bird poop.
