No Poop For You!

As a parent, it's always tough seeing your child(ren) in any pain or discomfort. The last couple of days, Tyler has been in serious "trying to poop" mode, and was pretty miserable the whole time. Lots of bright red faced grunting, squirming, farting, and squeezing. We tried everything from massaging his belly, to doing the bicycle motion with his legs to "loosen things up", and even tried sticking the lubed Q-tip up the darkest of places(you get the picture). All seemed to have been done with no success, until 11:33 am this morning I get this text: After 2 1/2 days of being fully clogged, it looks like things are back in order and luckily I wasn't there to have to change him.

I always wondered what the point of the smiling poop emoticon was, but I felt if there ever was an appropriate use for it, this text was it.

Gettin' Fit

I think my pregnancy weight gain has been well documented in this blog, but if not, let's just say I got a little doughy after the NYC Marathon in the last 4 months of pregnancy. I would find myself eating ice cream and cookies when Caroline wasn't even joining in. I was eating like I was pregnant, and gaining a bit of a bump. After the bambinos arrived and we got settled in, my goal was to get in serious shape. I found a gym that does Cross Fit that is about two blocks from my house. This stuff is intense. I come home almost throwing up each and every evening. Sounds fun, no?

Anyway, onto the real story. One night after I came home Caroline noticed my body was retaking the shape of a Greek God she decided she wanted to get back in shape. Considering she was back to her pre-pregnancy weight 13 hours after the babies were born, her issue wasn't losing weight. She wanted to get stronger. And by stronger, I mean she was worried about ever having to lug both baby carriers with babies in them around by herself.

After I came home from Cross Fit last night, I noticed she was in workout gear, the coffee table had been moved, and she was a little red in the face. That means one thing, "At Home Workout Tape" WRONG.

W:You work out?

C:Kind of.

W:What do you mean?

C:Well, I wanted to get stronger, so I did curls, lunges and walked around with the baby carriers.

W:Cool. Why did I just stub my toe on the 8lb dumb bells?

C:I might have put the dumb bells in the carrier to simulate some baby weight...

And...Wylie does Cross Fit and

Weights:

+

Carriers:

= Baby Fit:

Mall = Impossible

We had our first real "outing" with T & A on Friday as we ventured to North Park Mall. First of all, getting us four out of the house takes some major prep work. We only have about a 2 hour window to leave and get back before the feeding frenzy starts up again. So, we frantically pack diaper bag, change outfits, stuff babies into car seats, grab stroller and go.

The worst part about the outing is the stroller we are using. Right now we are at the mercy of The Dual Snap and Go until the kids can sit in a stroller without their carriers.

This is a dual stroller that the car seat carriers can "snap" into and you "go"...in theory. Problem with this thing is that it is the length of a school bus, and has the turning radius of a cruise ship. I would literally have to stop in the mall, look both ways and behind me, swing this puppy around and cross. At some points, Caroline would act as a crossing guard, holding her hands up, stopping traffic, and whistling me through.

The battle doesn't end there...try fitting a school bus into the baby stores...not happening.

Things I used to take for granted at the mall:

Escalators

Stairs

Curbs

Now we use elevators, ramps, and crossing guards.

Anyone have a orange vest we can borrow?

Letter to the Future about the Past

Kind of confusing I know, but Caroline and I have written a letter to us to read in 2 years when we are thinking about having one more baby.

Dear 2013 Caroline and Wylie,

Hey there, aren't your kids cute? They are both 2 years old now, walking, talking, and both child prodigies. We just wanted to write you to remind you what went on in their first month of life. I know you're thinking about having another kid, but please read this beforehand.

Remember the 3 hour feeding schedule? Remember the really tough ones that happened between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. where you had to peel yourself out of bed, sleep walk across the hallway, change a diaper and be greeted with a golden shower? Remember the cries that have been labeled the "Wounded Dinosaur" and the "Injured Dolphin"? Remember these cries echoing through the house in the surround sound of baby monitors? Caroline, remember the time you drove all of the way to the Doctor's office on your cell phone and kept complaining of a "real poopy smell in your car' only to later find the "poop smell" was on the hand that you were holding the phone with? Wylie, remember the breast milk projectile vomit you took to the bare chest at the 3 a.m. feeding?

Look, I know you love these little guys,but just remember how much work they are now. You lucked out, you got healthy babies, a boy and a girl. So, if this letter doesn't convince you enough, go price some diapers and wipes. Or watch the attached video, and your feeling on the breast pump.

Love,

Yourself, version 2011

1 Month

We had our 1 month Doctor appointment yesterday, Tyler weighs 7 lbs 3 oz and is 19.5 inches long. Addison is also 7 lbs 3 oz and is 19 inches long. Both babies are slowly creeping towards the 10th percentile in weight and height. Somehow, I was the only one that received a shot...Nothing more embarrassing than going to your kids' pediatrician and your the one walking out with the baby blue camouflage band aid.

I wasn't sure if the shot was going in my arm or butt, and we were in a hurry to get out of there as feeding time was rapidly approaching. So, in my mind, I was contemplating dropping my pants(in case of butt shot) and taking off my shirt(in case of arm shot) to speed up the process, but I thought it might be a bit awkward when the nurse walked in. Luckily for everyone involved, the shot went in my arm.

Ready for Greenville St. Patty's Day

Ready for bedtime

Catching up at 3 weeks!

It's tough to believe, but the kiddos are three weeks old today. I've learned a lot in three weeks, and I've still got some learning to do.

What I've learned:

Diapers-I knew they would roll through these things, but never at the pace it is happening at currently. I will take a diaper off, clean up the plumbing, place another diaper under one of them, then they poop again, remove newer diaper, re-clean, they pee, newest diaper strapped on, and any other "incidents" are ignored. My max is 3 diapers, I refuse to use more than that per change. Addison and Tyler, if you are reading this, the pooping game was funny, but now I'm fighting back! While we are on the subject of diapers, one of the more useful/utterly disgusting inventions is the Diaper Genie. It's genius in how it stores what seems to be thousands of diapers in a little can that is ALMOST odor free(nothing the kids have produced could ever be 100% odor-free), but it is completely disgusting when you pull this see-through trash bag out of the can and have to shamelessly take it out to your garbage. Couldn't they make the bag non-transparent? It's gross...

Wipes-The use of these things that fascinate me the most. I'm serious when I say this, I use more wipes in a day than I take breaths of air. I'm talking 8-10 wipes per kid, per change. Plus, the wipes have you at their mercy, there's no substitute, unless you want to use wash cloths, but then you're stuck cleaning poop twice...once out of the diaper, then once out of the cloth you used...two words, "No thanks".

Monitors-Apparently we bought monitors that were for a couple with a deaf person in the relationship, because not only do they produce sound, but they emit a very bright blue strobe light effect each time a sound is made. Couple the bright blue light with the sound machine the babies use for sleeping that is set on "heartbeat" and it turns our bedroom into a night club. So picture this, we are hearing "ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom" out of the monitor, we are also seeing the bright flashes of light in this exact pattern, now multiply that times two, because we are so tired, we each have a monitor on our side of the bed ensuring that one of us wakes up...Don't buy these monitors, unless you're deaf.

Boobs-Like them, always have, will again in the future, but right now I'm tired of seeing them. Caroline is either walking around with ice packs on them, warm cloths, pumping them, or just freeing them. I even saw somewhere that suggested she put cabbage leaves over her boobs to help milk production...Really? How do your boobs know you're wearing cabbage???....never thought I would say this, but I'm over boobs.

Sleep-Forgot what it felt like...so no comment.

As for the babies, they're easy, awesome, and great. I did get milk barfed on and pooped on in about a 30 minute span today, and can 100% say that is a first, but probably not a last.

Here is a public Facebook link of some pics.

This was taken from my phone during our photo shoot by http://www.carolriell.com/ I'll post her version of the pics once we get them.