Randomness on: Bathing, Feeding, and Messes

I don't really know where to begin with this blog, or know where it's going to go...but I do know to tell you this is how each and every night begins and ends in our house.

NOTE:If you want the Cliff's Notes version of this blog, scroll to the bottom. This blog takes the scenic route to get where I'm going, if in fact there is a defined destination.

Tyler and Addison have started "eating"(very loosely used term) solid foods. They started at 4 months with rice cereal, not to be confused with Rice Krispies, as one of our less kid experienced friends amused us with. The following week they moved onto oatmeal cereal, and this week we started with bananas. Next week avocados. Basically the mess increase each week too...The mess on them, the mess on the bibs, the mess on the table...and yes even the mess in the diapers.

This picture is a couple of minutes into the banana feeding...Tyler has already ditched the bib and shirt(It's a lot easier to clean up regurgitated banana off of bare skin as opposed to a cotton bib)

Caroline and I decide to try out the high chairs for the first time, in the middle of the feeding. The kiddos seem to like them, but the mess on Addison's face appears to show she has given up on swallowing the bananas and really likes spitting them out. After about 15 minutes of attempting to shovel spoonfuls of mush into their mouths, solid food training is over and it's time for baths to wash off previously mentioned regurgitated bananas from each child.

This is what the kitchen looked like last night when we were done. Notice the two bibs that were discarded under the table. When I came into take this picture, the dogs were molesting these bibs with their tongues, proving their love for regurgitated bananas.

I need to sidetrack this blog for a moment to help explain the next pictures and the evolution of our new bathing techniques.

A couple of weeks ago we decided that the kids were too big for sink baths and it was time to move onto bath tub baths. Caroline and I wanted the babies to bathe together to make it like play time. We each decided we would get on our knees, lean over the tub, each holding a baby and proceed with bathing. The only problem with that is we are each holding a baby with both of our hands and we have no way to scrub them. As we are both leaned over, and wondering how in the hell we are going to clean these babies, Caroline quickly looks at me and says "Take your clothes off and get in" my response is, "I'm not getting in the tub naked with the babies" (Normally, If Caroline tells me to, "take your clothes off and get in", I'm in, no questions asked, but this was a different circumstance). So I grab a pair of gym shorts and hop in the tub with Tyler, she still leaning over holding Addison. By me jumping in, it didn't really free any hands up so I look at her and say, "You're going to have to take your clothes off and get in too"(In all fairness, if I tell Caroline to "Take her clothes of and get in" she usually declines due to a stomach ache or is too tired) So, she finds her nearest bathing suit and hops in. So in a span of 3 minutes we went from bathing the babies in the tub for play time to all four of us, crammed in our small tub bathing babies. Caroline has the faucet in her back, Tyler is peeing all over the place, and we don't have towels. Needless to say...bath tub bath #1 was a complete failure. Going forward we decided to use to pool floats we got as mini bath tubs inside the bath tub...whatever you want to call it, it works, and we don't have to get in.

Back to blog:

This the remnants of bath time after we clean off banana and oatmeal each and every night. I went to shower and tried every which way to shower with those floats in there, but it just wasn't happening. And this is how we end our evenings now...Two VERY adult beverages.

CLIFF'S NOTE VERSION

(OR THE BEGINNING OF MY CHILDREN'S PICTURE BOOK CAREER

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This might be the most rambling, random, incoherent blog I've ever written.

Which One Isn't Like the Other?

We have two dogs who we love. They used to be the object of our affection...key word in that sentence is "used". Daisy and Saidy know they have fallen a rung or two on the love ladder...their OK with it. They love the babies. If a baby is crying Saidy is the first one up to check on them, and usually sitting by their door until we get there, tail wagging. They give the babies kisses and are typically respectful of their space. Daisy's first trick started during baby feedings. She'll lay on the floor, and act non-interested but as soon as a baby burps, she hops up, anticipating "something" to clean up as a nice little snack.

Her newest trick happened this week. I can honestly tell you, she did this herself, and I had nothing to do with this pose. I think it proves she is smart...and needs some attention.
I think I will start worrying when Daisy only drinks out of bottles and starts wearing diapers around.

D-Day(or Father's Day)

After my little Mother's Day "slip up", I was hoping Father's Day would come and go without a mention...but I knew that wasn't going to happen. Father's Day turned into Father's Weekend, and am pretty sure(around 35% sure) that Caroline wasn't doing it to remind me of how I overlooked Mother's Day, but to show me how awesome I am at being a father.

Highlighted timeline of my weekend:

Friday Night-NyQuil + no baby monitors + no dogs + guest bedroom solo-(The NyQuil was necessary as I was beginning to feel a bit sick, and even though the babies are sleeping through the night the monitors aren't as distracting, but the listed combination is a recipe for a very solid sleeping night...which has been pretty sporadic over the last few months, and in turn, is very appreciated)

Saturday Morning-Caroline woke me with gift bags and babies in both arms. The babies, because of their limited work experience and limited budget, got me a trophy and coffee mug that said, "World's Best Dad" on them. Tyler got me a card that mentioned farting noises and pull my finger(the kid is already in love with farting noises), and Addison got me a sweet card that was no nonsense and all love. (She's a sweetie) Caroline helped supplement the babies budget with the coolest gift...She had a book printed with tons of pics and stories that highlighted my first 4 months as a dad.

*Note- Each time I open a gift or read a card...the Mother's Day wound opens a bit more and burns a bit deeper. I'm sure (about 35%) that this was not Caroline's intention, but it was always in the back of my mind.

Saturday Mid-Day - Caroline gave me her gift...which was a pool. Well, we rented a pool for the Summer, but what an awesome gift. Because we still can't decide if we want to move, or have a pool when we do move, we just rented one for the next few months, to stay out of the heat and have something to do, and to make sure Tyler isn't allergic to water.

*Dagger getting deeper...burning

I think the kiddos liked it though...

Saturday Evening-I got to nap after the margaritas...er, I mean after the pool. And it was a real nap...in bed, doors shut, fan on high...

Sunday-My Dad and Unc T(Ty) came out and we all went to brunch, came home, played with babies, and I napped all day. (I was honestly sick all day, and each time a coughed or sneezed I thought about how I might have made a deal with the devil for under-celebrating Mother's Day #1, and this was going to be my punishment each and every Father's Day from here on out...)

Sunday Night-Another date with NyQuil and the guest room.

Needless to say, after all of the sleeping, cards, gifts, and celebrating...Father's Day #1 was great.

I'm still sure (about 35%) that Caroline was doing it out of love.

Women Start Early

We all know that women like to talk, but I had no idea that it started so early. This is what Addison does most of the day now. She even woke up at 3:00 am just to talk, talked like this for 15 minutes, and then talked herself to sleep...If that doesn't say "woman" I don't know what does.

Highlights of the video:

Watching her tongue(She knows it's there, but can't quite figure out what to do with it)

Watching Tyler towards the end(sleeping right through it)

Addison picking up her pitch level at the end, and showing no signs of slowing down.

PS-You might not enjoy this video as much as me, but I've watched it a few times. It cracks me up.

Mastering the Silent Celebration

With the recent success of the Mavs coupled with the fact that the bambinos are in bed just before tip off, 7:30 pm, I have had to really temper my frustration/excitement at the TV. If you've ever watched a gamed with me, you know that I yell at the TV, mostly profanities and I often have the tendency to get off my couch and do celebratory dances when something goes right.

With the risk of waking up the kids or my wife for that matter, I have mastered the art of Silent Celebration. Silent Celebration can be described as yelling without yelling. I still fist pump the air, I still do my dances, I still celebrate...I just fake yell. Yes, mouth still open, mouthing words, and fake screaming...just no sound comes out. It's tough to do, and even tougher to master...but you no what they say, "Never wake a sleeping baby" My only question is, is it ok to wake a sleeping baby if Dirk nails a game winner?

Memorial Day Catch Up

Memorial Day took us down to Galveston, with the Jaggards who also have Campbell, who was born 3 days before the twins. It's pretty funny to see them all together, and all the stuff that goes along with traveling with 3 youngsters. A trip that used to require 1 Tahoe, a cooler, a couple of cases of beer, and some swimsuits. Now includes 2 Tahoes each stuffed with strollers, boxes of diapers, canisters of formula, 3 pack-n-plays, tons of luggage, numerous baby seats and swings, and, of course, we still make room for the coolers and beer. I was talking to my brother before we left, and he asked who is going just the 4 of y'all, thinking Griff, Jess, Caroline and I, I responded yes, then quickly remembered that 4 had turned into 7 in what seemed like overnight...Now the party has added its own mini wolf pack of Tyler, Addison, and Campbell. Another funny part of traveling with all of these youngsters is watching people's faces as you pass them. They inadvertently stare at you and then the babies and then back at you...it's as if the are calculating in their heads, "let's see two sets of parents, three babies, carry the one, niner" and then they brain overload. We were asked several times if they were triplets, and we got very good at our newly rehearsed response, "Nope, twins and a best friend"

Tyler sporting his new pineapple "swim" trunks. I quote swim because Tyler hates water. He hates bathing, he hates wet wash cloths, he hates everything associated with being wet. He was in the water for about 3 seconds before we can add "he hates swimming" to the list too. And if pattern holds we will be able to add, "he hates baptism" after this Sunday.

Addison rocking her new bikini. I would like to set the record straight, I am not an advocate of my daughter being in a bikini on the Internet...but I'm hoping this is the only bikini picture of her ever posted to the web...PS doesn't my wife look hot for having twins 3 1/2 months ago? She asked me not to post this pic, but I couldn't resist.

Tyler is getting good at holding his own bottle. My theory is he gets pissed when we pull the bottle out to burp him, so he takes matters into his own hands and feeds himself. The dude loves to eat.

Tyler and Addison were pooped after the long day the the pool.

We're the Three Best Friends
That Anyone Could Have
We're the Three Best Friends
That Anyone Could Have

We're the Three Best Friends
That Anyone Could Have
And We'll Never ever ever ever
Leave Each Other

We're the Three Best Friends
That Anyone Could Have
We're the Three Best Friends
That Anyone Could Have

Take Cover

Nothing like a tornado warning and some hail to get your blood flowing on a Tuesday night.

We heard the sirens go off around 8:00, which is right in the middle of feeding time for the bambinos. As we are trying to cram bottles down throats, I keep hearing the path of the storm...and it seems to be headed our direction. Luckily, the technology we have today gives us on ETA on the storm time. We had 28 minutes to finish feeding and take cover. Typically, Tyler can chug an 8 oz bottle in about 9 minutes. Chugging is a great skill of his, like father like son. Addison on the other hand takes her sweet time and usually can get an 8 ounce bottle down in about 45 minutes. Much to Dad's liking, a sipper not a chugger. Knowing that the storm is going to hit about mid-feed, we devise a shelter plan in our head. Bathtub is to close to a window, plus trying to feed two babies, shelter two dogs, and house the lucky parent who gets to seek shelter with them seems like it could get a little over crowded. So we chose the hallway....The initial shelter consisted of strapping both babies in the Nap Nannies, grabbing the dogs, shutting the doors, and trying to limit the screaming by continuing the feeding.

As the storm intensified and I kept hearing louder clanging of hail, I decided we needed more protection...So I grabbed a mattress and protected everyone, and left myself on the outside to go down with the ship...

A sneak peek deep inside our storm shelter...The dogs appear to be more protected than the babies...

Luckily, all we got was some hail, strong wind, and a blog post.

How Not to Handle Baby Mama's 1st Mothers Day

The gift for Mother's Day #1 should be special, something to remember, something that should be cherished, and definitely not something that is forgotten.

Bring in public enemy number one...yours truly...this guy.

I'll take you back to two weeks ago we were shopping and Caroline saw a lady wearing these fancy Nike tops, and commented on how she really liked them. So, as any good husband would do, I filed that in the "next gift for Caroline" brain folder. A couple of days later, Mother's Day gifts got brought up and I mentioned that I was good on a gift, and I swear to you, she looks directly at me and speaks these words to me, "You're not getting me those stupid running tops I commented on last week are you?" Me, "Uh, I was going to." Her, "I knew as soon as I said that, they would be my next gift, those are not appropriate for Mother's Day" CRAP!

Now we have moved on to the Thursday before Mother's Day. Caroline hinted at wanting these for Mother's Day. Which I still contest is just as ridiculous as the Nike tops, but whatever. I stared at my computer for about 3 hours that day and could not bring myself to mouse click "complete purchase" on the $200 pair of black shoes. A pair of black shoes that are very similar to black shoes that can be bought at Target for $20, a very similar pair of black shoes that I have seen the dogs use as a chew toy in previous shoe gifts...I just couldn't spend $200 on some black shoes. Sue me.

That brings us to Friday, which means we are leaving town, and I still have no gift. At this point I have written this off to the "This is not going to go over well on Sunday, hopefully she will not expect a gift" category. WRONG.

Sunday comes and goes without a gift...or a card. Monday comes and goes...no gift...no card...but a mention from Caroline about not getting a card or a gift, and a text from one of her friends who I consulted with about said gift saying, "What did you end up getting Caroline for Mother's Day?" Needless to say, I didn't respond. Tuesday morning comes and I wake up and think, "Wow, I am an ass." Anxiety about the gift sets in, probably a few days too late, but at least it set in, and I am in pure panic/scramble mode.

I've always been told nothing says I'm sorry and I love you quite like this. So to anyone reading this, I beg of you...please...The next time you see my wife, please comment on her lovely necklace with the T & A charms on it...even if she isn't wearing it, pretend she is. And to all you dudes about to become Dads out there...don't forget, don't ever forget Mother's Day # 1.

My only excuse about the gift is, Tyler and Addison thought I was taking care of the gift, I thought they were taking care of the gift, basically it was just a lack of communication on our part.

Flying, Mother's Day Weekend, and Mexican Traditions

Yes, yes, yes, I know, I've been in a bit of a blog rut. A so called slump, but put two 11 week old babies on an airplane to Nana and Papa's near the Mexican border, and you've instantly got some blog material. I'm going to combine our whole trip into on blog, so it may be lengthy....here goes

Flying: Every trip begins with packing, but packing for infants is tough. Not only do you have to pack for your stay, but you have to pack for the flight. Things like formula, pacifiers, extra outfits for parents and babies in case of explosions...all kinds of stuff I never thought of. First off, you've got to figure how your going to get a stroller, two car seats, two babies, yourselves, and your luggage all through security without pissing off the entire line of patrons around you. Plus, it wouldn't be a true test unless one of your children has a blowout in the middle of the line(Addison 1, Mom and Dad 0). Good news, the nice security lady at the airport let us bypass the "regular people" line and go straight through security, not sure if this is customary with children, but it was nice. Bad news, as we skip the line, we realize how many people are glaring, and the cartoon bubbles above their head appear to be saying, "I hope to hell they are not on my flight." As we approach the scanners and metal detectors, the security lady starts giving us some instructions...and she could tell we were horribly flustered. So she took care of us....next thing I see are her arms in the air, and she shouts, "Everyone stop, I'm getting this group through and you'll just have to wait" Oh man...people hate us, I start sweating, Caroline just ducks her head. "You" pointing at Caroline, "Grab both babies, and get them through the metal detectors. Dad will get everything else" ...Uh...everything else like the stroller, the car seats, the luggage, the two pacifiers I am now carrying in my mouth(Yes, i was out of hands and that felt like the appropriate place for them). I mean we literally shut down the security gate at terminal C for 5-7 minutes.

Luckily, the poo bomb in Addison's diaper didn't set off the alarms. Our flight had empty seats, so we were allowed to take the car seat carriers on the plane and keep the babies in them, except for the feeding at take off which we were told is a must to help the babies clear their ears.

Mother's Day Weekend
It was a great weekend in McAllen with Caroline's parents. It also nice that they don't get to see the babies that much, and they want to spend as much time with them as possible...including middle of the night feedings and exploding diaper changes. Caroline and I slept through the night for two straight nights and even went out to dinner. It was pretty awesome.

Mexican Traditions
Background:
For those of you who don't know, McAllen is a border town, meaning it is basically Mexico, and Mexican traditions are in full affect. I have recently become a germ freak with the babies and want anyone that is handling them to wash their hands prior to "petting" them.

We all went to brunch Sunday for Mother's Day, and as we are waiting for our table this older Mexican lady comes by, admires the twins, says something in Spanish about them and then walks over to Tyler, looks at him and then gives him a full on two handed face massage with her recently un-washed, un-sanitized hands. I'm fighting the urge to slap her hand away, Caroline is looking at me and knows how uncomfortable it makes me. She finally quit rubbing her grimy hands all over him, and my heart rate subsided. I thought she was done, but one look at Addison and she gives her the same 30 second double face massage treatment. At this point there is nothing I can do....After she quit I felt like I should have given her a tip for her masseuse duties.

Anyway, I guess the Mexican tradition is to touch the face of babies is good luck...Thank God, a lot of people weren't looking to get lucky that day. Maybe they should add washing hands to that tradition.

Fun With Easter...and Easter Hats

Easter was our first holiday as a foursome, and I learned a lot on Easter Sunday that I will need to know for future holidays.

Things I learned...

It is impossible to get 1 kid, let alone 2 kids to stare at the camera at the same time...so as you will see, most of our pictures will have a baby with a hand in their face, eyes closed, weird look on their face, or crying....and these are the edited pictures, I've already deleted 500 pics of each shot to find these.

You can dress kids up on holidays...they are fair game, especially at this age. Uncle Ty bought them Bunny Ear Hats. Tyler will sure regret his solo picture come graduation or wedding time, but I think it is hilarious.

A 10 pound baby turns into a 50 pound baby 30 minutes into a church service. We were sore...and sweating midway through the service....maybe we need to eggsercise more.

All in all, the 1st Easter was a hopping success. I wouldn't have wanted to spend it with anybunny else, I'm not yolking around.

Alright, I'm eggsiting stage left....

Beware of Apple Juice

At our appointment last week, we told the Doc that Tyler seemed to be "forcing" the issue when it came to going #2. Not only would he turn tomato red, but the "final product" was usually a hard ball of poop. It just looked painful for the poor guy.

Doc suggested adding 1 oz of apple, prune, or grape juice to his bottle twice daily.

Pros:

Apple Juice tastes great, no problem getting the entire bottle down the hatch.

Apple Juice seemed to loosen things up a bit.

Pooping seemed easier and more regular.

Cons: His poop had the the rankest, most foul apple juice scent that you could imagine. I'm talking, smell it through his clothes, I had to cover my nose with my shirt to carry him to change rank. And it was yellow. Just all around bad.

After 3 days of apple juice supplementing, my man pooping with ease, and numerous threats from the nanny, we decided to cut the apple juice from the diet.

I'm not sure that grape juice would have been a better option, but I know one thing, prune juice would have been a horrible idea.

2+ Month Report

The last time we talked, we were exchanging the breast pump for formula...and the transition has been smoother than expected. (Except the formula poop smells 100 times worse than breast milk poop) The babies recently had their 2 month appointment. 2 months was a big step for the babies, they both eclipsed the 10 pound mark, Tyler weighing in at a chunky 10 lbs 6 oz, and Addison at a healthy 10 lbs 2 oz.

I honestly can't believe they have been here for over two months now. Just to give you an idea, 2 months consists of an estimated 996 feedings, 1,240 diaper changes, 3,720 wipes, and about 20 hours of total sleep.

The babies are changing so much everyday, Tyler is 100% addicted to smiling and does it often, and his biggest smiles come when he is doing a number 2.(Just like daddy) Tyler has yet to master the art of sleeping through the night, and is an eating machine. He eats every 3 hours, on the hour, without fail. This quality places him last in our nightly baby draft*.

Addison, is getting more beautiful every day. She smiles some, but is really good at sleeping through the night. She can go 6 + hours at night, which places her on the very top of both of our draft boards.

Both babies are sitting up in there Bumbos(not to be confused with a binky or a boppy), and really getting good at holding their heads up. Tyler has a little more difficulty with this because of his large cranium. His head is in the 84th percentile, compared to his weight in the 12th percentile. The kids got a big noggin. They have really gotten good at focusing on things around them. Addison really focuses on The Rangers and Mavs when they are on TV, Tyler focuses on himself in the mirror(Just like daddy), and his bumble bees on the top of his swing.

*Baby draft- Each night, we divide babies and conquer feedings/cryings. Since, Addison is content sleeping through the night we decided waking her every 3 hours wasn't the best way to keep doing this. Tyler eats a lot, and we don't want to discourage that, so when he's hungry we feed him. Each night Caroline and I alternate draft picks, 1st pick always get Addison, and typically gets a solid 6 straight hours of almost uninterrupted sleep. 2nd pick gets Tyler, and is guaranteed less sleep, at least one outfit change, and a 2:00 a.m. feeding. One day, Tyler will sleep through the night, but he's shown no signs of slowing down yet...

Pumping of the Breasts

Caroline has been pumping for the last 7 weeks and it's been going pretty good, but I think she finally hit her wall this week. In all fairness, she rivals Elsie in milk production, but spending over 5 hours a day attached to that machine has finally gotten the best of her. She had hinted the past couple of days that she was growing tired of it, so I figured the end was near.

Today I received a text from her that read, "One of my pump pieces fell in the dishwasher and melted, this breastfeeding is falling to pieces."

I feel I will receive the following texts, in no particular order at some point today:

"Scissors accidentally fell onto to pumping hoses and sliced them in half"

"Whoops! I left the breast pump in driveway, and accidentally backed over it"

"Crap! I forgot I backed over the pump in the driveway. Pulled car forward and ran over it again. I'm such a dummy"

"I know it's April, but I started the fireplace...and you'll never believe what melted when I set it next to the fire. It rhymes Shmeast Rump"

"Man, I started the disposal and it made this weird noise. I dug around in there and found all of my pumping materials. Crazy, they must have fallen in when I washed them"

Looks like we're moving on. Adios boobs.

You have no idea how accurate this picture is/was...

The Hangover-Baby Edition

You know the scene from The Hangover when all of the guys wake up in the penthouse, with a stripper, a chicken, a jungle cat in the bathroom, and Allen has no pants on? Phil wakes up and assesses the situation and says, "What the f*ck happened last night?"(3:35 on this video)

At about 8:00 this morning, I wake up and look at Caroline and my first words are, "What the hell happened last night? As I walked around the house it reminded me of The Hangover scene, but replace beer bottles, chickens, missing teeth, and a flaming chair with empty baby bottles, burp cloths, two disheveled wiener dogs, and crying babies. Last night was a rough one. Not much sleep for anyone. Addison and Tyler started off on different schedules and never got back together. Caroline and I decided to divide and conquer last night. Addison was all mine, Tyler was all hers. Addison and I went from couch, to crib, to rocking chair, back to crib, to Nap Nanny, before she finally decided to settle on the swing at 3:15 am. Once in the swing, we played to "passy game" which is where I put the passy in her mouth, go lay down on the couch and exactly 15 minutes later she spits it out and cries. We went 4 rounds. She won. She did sleep a couple of hours and I tossed and turned on the couch under a pink and white polk-a-dotted baby blanket. Then it was back up at 6:15 for her morning feeding. Caroline had the same experience, but I was out when hers was going on, so not much documentation on their all night partying. I'm sure it's much of the same story, with same results.

As for the disheveled wiener dogs, Saidy wants to be a baby. Every time they get out of one of their sleeping contractions, Saidy is on it. This is Saidy overtaking both of the nap nannies.

A couple of notes from this pic. Yes, I realize both Nap Nannies are pink. Luckily, Tyler does not, yet. We got a bunch of (free) stuff from on of Caroline's co-workers who had twin girls, and have yet to replace the pink cover. Poor guy, already getting run over by his little sister.

Also notice, the slant on the Nap Nanny on the right hand side?

That is because Daisy has burrowed under it.

Both babies are smiling now. Here is Tyler cheesing it up for Daddy.

Addison is still shy with her smiles, but as soon as I get a pic, I will show her some blog love too.

No Poop For You!

As a parent, it's always tough seeing your child(ren) in any pain or discomfort. The last couple of days, Tyler has been in serious "trying to poop" mode, and was pretty miserable the whole time. Lots of bright red faced grunting, squirming, farting, and squeezing. We tried everything from massaging his belly, to doing the bicycle motion with his legs to "loosen things up", and even tried sticking the lubed Q-tip up the darkest of places(you get the picture). All seemed to have been done with no success, until 11:33 am this morning I get this text: After 2 1/2 days of being fully clogged, it looks like things are back in order and luckily I wasn't there to have to change him.

I always wondered what the point of the smiling poop emoticon was, but I felt if there ever was an appropriate use for it, this text was it.

Gettin' Fit

I think my pregnancy weight gain has been well documented in this blog, but if not, let's just say I got a little doughy after the NYC Marathon in the last 4 months of pregnancy. I would find myself eating ice cream and cookies when Caroline wasn't even joining in. I was eating like I was pregnant, and gaining a bit of a bump. After the bambinos arrived and we got settled in, my goal was to get in serious shape. I found a gym that does Cross Fit that is about two blocks from my house. This stuff is intense. I come home almost throwing up each and every evening. Sounds fun, no?

Anyway, onto the real story. One night after I came home Caroline noticed my body was retaking the shape of a Greek God she decided she wanted to get back in shape. Considering she was back to her pre-pregnancy weight 13 hours after the babies were born, her issue wasn't losing weight. She wanted to get stronger. And by stronger, I mean she was worried about ever having to lug both baby carriers with babies in them around by herself.

After I came home from Cross Fit last night, I noticed she was in workout gear, the coffee table had been moved, and she was a little red in the face. That means one thing, "At Home Workout Tape" WRONG.

W:You work out?

C:Kind of.

W:What do you mean?

C:Well, I wanted to get stronger, so I did curls, lunges and walked around with the baby carriers.

W:Cool. Why did I just stub my toe on the 8lb dumb bells?

C:I might have put the dumb bells in the carrier to simulate some baby weight...

And...Wylie does Cross Fit and

Weights:

+

Carriers:

= Baby Fit:

Mall = Impossible

We had our first real "outing" with T & A on Friday as we ventured to North Park Mall. First of all, getting us four out of the house takes some major prep work. We only have about a 2 hour window to leave and get back before the feeding frenzy starts up again. So, we frantically pack diaper bag, change outfits, stuff babies into car seats, grab stroller and go.

The worst part about the outing is the stroller we are using. Right now we are at the mercy of The Dual Snap and Go until the kids can sit in a stroller without their carriers.

This is a dual stroller that the car seat carriers can "snap" into and you "go"...in theory. Problem with this thing is that it is the length of a school bus, and has the turning radius of a cruise ship. I would literally have to stop in the mall, look both ways and behind me, swing this puppy around and cross. At some points, Caroline would act as a crossing guard, holding her hands up, stopping traffic, and whistling me through.

The battle doesn't end there...try fitting a school bus into the baby stores...not happening.

Things I used to take for granted at the mall:

Escalators

Stairs

Curbs

Now we use elevators, ramps, and crossing guards.

Anyone have a orange vest we can borrow?

Letter to the Future about the Past

Kind of confusing I know, but Caroline and I have written a letter to us to read in 2 years when we are thinking about having one more baby.

Dear 2013 Caroline and Wylie,

Hey there, aren't your kids cute? They are both 2 years old now, walking, talking, and both child prodigies. We just wanted to write you to remind you what went on in their first month of life. I know you're thinking about having another kid, but please read this beforehand.

Remember the 3 hour feeding schedule? Remember the really tough ones that happened between 1 a.m. and 3 a.m. where you had to peel yourself out of bed, sleep walk across the hallway, change a diaper and be greeted with a golden shower? Remember the cries that have been labeled the "Wounded Dinosaur" and the "Injured Dolphin"? Remember these cries echoing through the house in the surround sound of baby monitors? Caroline, remember the time you drove all of the way to the Doctor's office on your cell phone and kept complaining of a "real poopy smell in your car' only to later find the "poop smell" was on the hand that you were holding the phone with? Wylie, remember the breast milk projectile vomit you took to the bare chest at the 3 a.m. feeding?

Look, I know you love these little guys,but just remember how much work they are now. You lucked out, you got healthy babies, a boy and a girl. So, if this letter doesn't convince you enough, go price some diapers and wipes. Or watch the attached video, and your feeling on the breast pump.

Love,

Yourself, version 2011

1 Month

We had our 1 month Doctor appointment yesterday, Tyler weighs 7 lbs 3 oz and is 19.5 inches long. Addison is also 7 lbs 3 oz and is 19 inches long. Both babies are slowly creeping towards the 10th percentile in weight and height. Somehow, I was the only one that received a shot...Nothing more embarrassing than going to your kids' pediatrician and your the one walking out with the baby blue camouflage band aid.

I wasn't sure if the shot was going in my arm or butt, and we were in a hurry to get out of there as feeding time was rapidly approaching. So, in my mind, I was contemplating dropping my pants(in case of butt shot) and taking off my shirt(in case of arm shot) to speed up the process, but I thought it might be a bit awkward when the nurse walked in. Luckily for everyone involved, the shot went in my arm.

Ready for Greenville St. Patty's Day

Ready for bedtime

Catching up at 3 weeks!

It's tough to believe, but the kiddos are three weeks old today. I've learned a lot in three weeks, and I've still got some learning to do.

What I've learned:

Diapers-I knew they would roll through these things, but never at the pace it is happening at currently. I will take a diaper off, clean up the plumbing, place another diaper under one of them, then they poop again, remove newer diaper, re-clean, they pee, newest diaper strapped on, and any other "incidents" are ignored. My max is 3 diapers, I refuse to use more than that per change. Addison and Tyler, if you are reading this, the pooping game was funny, but now I'm fighting back! While we are on the subject of diapers, one of the more useful/utterly disgusting inventions is the Diaper Genie. It's genius in how it stores what seems to be thousands of diapers in a little can that is ALMOST odor free(nothing the kids have produced could ever be 100% odor-free), but it is completely disgusting when you pull this see-through trash bag out of the can and have to shamelessly take it out to your garbage. Couldn't they make the bag non-transparent? It's gross...

Wipes-The use of these things that fascinate me the most. I'm serious when I say this, I use more wipes in a day than I take breaths of air. I'm talking 8-10 wipes per kid, per change. Plus, the wipes have you at their mercy, there's no substitute, unless you want to use wash cloths, but then you're stuck cleaning poop twice...once out of the diaper, then once out of the cloth you used...two words, "No thanks".

Monitors-Apparently we bought monitors that were for a couple with a deaf person in the relationship, because not only do they produce sound, but they emit a very bright blue strobe light effect each time a sound is made. Couple the bright blue light with the sound machine the babies use for sleeping that is set on "heartbeat" and it turns our bedroom into a night club. So picture this, we are hearing "ba-boom, ba-boom, ba-boom" out of the monitor, we are also seeing the bright flashes of light in this exact pattern, now multiply that times two, because we are so tired, we each have a monitor on our side of the bed ensuring that one of us wakes up...Don't buy these monitors, unless you're deaf.

Boobs-Like them, always have, will again in the future, but right now I'm tired of seeing them. Caroline is either walking around with ice packs on them, warm cloths, pumping them, or just freeing them. I even saw somewhere that suggested she put cabbage leaves over her boobs to help milk production...Really? How do your boobs know you're wearing cabbage???....never thought I would say this, but I'm over boobs.

Sleep-Forgot what it felt like...so no comment.

As for the babies, they're easy, awesome, and great. I did get milk barfed on and pooped on in about a 30 minute span today, and can 100% say that is a first, but probably not a last.

Here is a public Facebook link of some pics.

This was taken from my phone during our photo shoot by http://www.carolriell.com/ I'll post her version of the pics once we get them.